The Urahara Shop Computer
by Sweet Kagamine Kiss
Summary: Well, I wouldn't be surprised at what could exist on Urahara's computer that looks like it should belong in a top-secret government facility, not in a small cozy Japanese shop that sells candy and has a giant basement with false skylines. He should put a better password on his computer, though...
1. The Alien Guy

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** I have three Harry Potter collection fics, one Vocaloid collection fic, and three Naruto collection fics. Getting more into Bleach through either HP or Naruto, I thought I should make a Bleach collection fic to add incase I get any Bleach-y ideas or randomness popping into my head. I hope to have new folks flocking to this, and in term, my other stories that need desperate life shocked back into their plotlines again. If you got any requests for something like short ideas, just tell me in a PM or in your review.

* * *

**The Alien Guy from "Game Time with Dave and Greg"**

"Watch it, bitch! I got water!" Urahara shouts at the man.

Said "man" shrieks and hisses, eyes bulging like crazy, and is making sweeping clawing motion in the air. He also has those frilly spitter dinosaur fins sprouting from the back of his neck. The kids are hiding behind Tessai who simply stares at the "man".

"Out of everything that could ever happen here, we just have to run across an actual alien in human skin," Yoruichi sighs.

The "man" hisses at Urahara, who in retaliation squeezes his large bottle of water to squirt the "man" in the face. The water makes a hissing sound and produce smoke from the skin slightly melting.

"Urahara! I'm choosing the destination for our vacation next year!" the ever beautiful Yoruichi tells Hat-n-Clogs.

And they said New York City was a great vacation spot...

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**And the start of a new collection fic begins with Urahara and an alien that hates water. Hope to see you readers stick around.**


	2. Soul Society Webcam

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** I have three Harry Potter collection fics, one Vocaloid collection fic, and three Naruto collection fics. Getting more into Bleach through either HP or Naruto, I thought I should make a Bleach collection fic to add incase I get any Bleach-y ideas or randomness popping into my head. I hope to have new folks flocking to this, and in term, my other stories that need desperate life shocked back into their plotlines again. If you got any requests for something like short ideas, just tell me in a PM or in your review.

This chapter is something based off the plot of a writer whose story is really great. It's called _Exiles_ by FanFiction Author _Zephyras_. If you haven't read it, do so now. This story came to me in a weird dream involving those spy camera scenes when Soul Society spied upon Rukia and Ichigo. What if... they spied while sleeping? Since I like IchiRuki in this variant oneshot they're already sleeping together. :P

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**Soul Society Webcam**

The Gotei 13 once again were at a meeting involving the betrayer, Rukia, and the traitors Urahara, Yoruichi, and the mystery human who had Shinigami powers.

"So, what are we doing here? Has something come up involving what's happening in the World of the Living?" Tōshirō questioned aloud.

"We discovered something interesting in the archives when we were working on clearing old footage that has little insignificant meaning."

The woman next to the young man cleared her throat.

"We found something odd when we reviewed the tape recordings from last week... and... well, just watch," said the technician, who inserts the disc into the wall and the large monitor springs to life. The screen's snow soon disappears and reveals a bedroom. The door opens and Ichigo and Rukia walk into view of the hidden spy camera created by Mayuri's tech team.

"Man, that was horrible," Ichigo mutters, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Your fault you didn't watch where you were going," Rukia said, looking to the orange-haired young man.

"My fault? How in the hell is it my fault when a giant foot suddenly crashes onto the street out in the middle of friggin' nowhere?"

Rukia takes off her shirt and tosses it into the clothes hamper next to the door that leads to the bathroom. "Thank god Uryū had the idea to fire an arrow and slay the Menos." She heads into the bathroom and closes the door.

"So, what do you want to do tomorrow Rukia? Go bother Hat-n-Clogs?"

"Nah. I don't wish to get roped into doing something for one of his overseas clients again. Remember Mallet Island?"

Ichigo paused for a moment, before taking off his pants and boxers (Raniku giggled at what she saw while the other females in the room break into blushes).

"Who could forget? You think Hell would have a seal-tight door and yet they got these back doors like the sleazy bars and strip clubs in the Red Light District."

He put on his night clothes, as Rukia left the bathroom sliding on her night gown, face cleanly washed. Ichigo was in bed and had taken out his Kindle and had it turned on. A few minutes silence aside the TV turning on, and the couple just cuddled in bed.

"Huh, I got e-mail from Ulquiorra."

"The former Cuatro Espada? What does he want?"

"... He wants to know if Orihime's not seeing anybody," he answered.

"Huh? Really?"

"Yeah, really." Ichigo shows the message that's in his Hotmail inbox.

"Huh... interesting pairing. Is Orihime seeing anybody right now?"

"Not to my knowledge," Ichigo said, writing a response to the Arrancar.

Ever since the surviving Espada decided to take control of the palace (and those truly loyal to Aizen killed off like Zommari, Aaroniero, and Yammy; Nnoitra is also dead but only by Nel's hand) after Aizen was thwarted and his true plans revealed to the Espada and their surviving Fracción, they discovered the world of the internet in the human world. Well, let's just say Ulquiorra was practically one of those elite gamers in the Call of Duty series, Luppi and Gin enjoyed playing online pranks, and Szayelaporro now had an addiction to online porn.

The couple did nothing except watch television or play on the Kindle...

...

...

"How can a woman not shave down there? Seriously..."

"Try any position she wants," Ichigo says, "that baby's not coming out without rug burn."

...

...

"What are you playing?"

"Rockman Online," Ichigo replied to Rukia's pondering question.

She nods and flips the channel to a comedy station...

...

...

"Hey Rukia?"

"Yeah, Ichigo?"

Ichigo revealed something to Rukia on the device he was holding.

"Is this for real?" she asks, a look of surprise on her face.

"Yeah it is."

"Huh... Ulquiorra's very popular on gaming websites..."

...

...

... Soon it was 11:27 PM at night when the couple had gone to sleep (after that hour and half "adult make-out session"; if you can't see the double meaning of those quotations you're a virgin). The video fast-forwarded until playing at normal speed again. The time at the corner read 12:28 AM, when the window opened. To the silent shock of everyone, they saw a humanoid Hollow (Arrancar) break into the room. Tall, muscular, a lean appearance and a Hollow hole in his sternum, with short sky blue hair and a fragment of a bone mask on his right cheek. The open-shirted Hollow with blue jeans tip-toes past the bed, keeping a hold on his sheathed Zanpakutō. He stops at the dresser, reaches for Ichigo's wallet, and Grimmjow (not like the Gotei 13 knew his name) steals all ¥9,000. Folding the wallet back where he found it, Grimmjow sneaks back to the window, silently climbs out, closes the window, and disappears.

Fast-forward to 1:04 AM, Isshin breaks into his son's house if only to return what looked like several DVDs. What kind of father breaks into his son's house to return movies? Really? Fast-forward to 2:30 AM and a hole appeared on screen and out pops another Hollow and traitor Shinigami Gin Ichimaru (this shocked Rangiku) who... steals Ichigo and Rukia's television and DVD player? Loot in hand they disappear back into the hole. Fast-forward two hours later and the same feminine-looking Hollow with short dark hair returns the TV and DVD player and Gin makes sure to grab what looked like a lacy pair of panties tangled in the cords before vanishing. At 5 in the morning, Grimmjow returns and deposits money to make it look like he didn't steal from Ichigo in the first place. He was wearing clothes that showed Grimmjow was partying at Las Vegas, Nevada.

Believe it or not, Grimmjow had a lot of luck when it comes to gambling. Up until seven in the morning a weird man wearing kabuki clothing with white hair had broken in the house and painted a picture of the couple sleeping in the bed (the painting had a different vision as the painter made the couple nude and in such a naughty position), and then disappears with his finished art as the sun shined in the window revealing morning. The time was 7:34 AM when it plays at normal speed, and Ichigo's hand smacks the buzzing alarm clock. Rukia moans but continues sleeping as Ichigo rubs the sleeping from his eyes, yawns rather loud, and heads to the adjoined bathroom.

"MORNING ICHIGO!"

Rukia is rudely woken up by the scream of a man kicking Ichigo through the bathroom door. Yup, it was Isshin.

"Isshin you bastard!" Rukia yells throwing the alarm clock and clocking the man in the head.

"What the hell were you doing in my bathroom, old man?" Ichigo yells after recovering from the sudden surprise attack.

"I came to bring back those moves I borrowed from last week," he said, flashing out said DVDs he returned earlier in the night. Does anybody realize how mind-boggling this looks right now? Yeah ignore the fact you're bleeding from the hit to the head by an alarm clock...

"You are a very disturbed man," Rukia stated, growling.

She needs coffee to function from the sudden wake-up call.

The replay ends there and the tech woman takes the disc from the player, as the Gotei 13 question what they just saw was actually real...

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**My dream had a deleted scene that was very perverted and lemony. Otherwise, yes it was... a weird dream. And if Ichigo and Grimmjow were friends I can totally see him stealing money from Ichigo's wallet.**


	3. So Yachiru's Jailbait?

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** I have three Harry Potter collection fics, one Vocaloid collection fic, and three Naruto collection fics. Getting more into Bleach through either HP or Naruto, I thought I should make a Bleach collection fic to add incase I get any Bleach-y ideas or randomness popping into my head. I hope to have new folks flocking to this, and in term, my other stories that need desperate life shocked back into their plotlines again. If you got any requests for something like short ideas, just tell me in a PM or in your review.

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**So Yachiru's Jailbait...?**

"Hey Kenny, I got boobies now!" Yachiru shouted loudly.

You can imagine many of the drinkers of Kenpachi's division did one simultaneous spit-take of their sake.

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**If I made you snort or laugh suddenly after reading this very short oneshot, then I did my job right.** :D**  
**


	4. The Plot Bunny of Crimson Sagittarius

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** I have three Harry Potter collection fics, one Vocaloid collection fic, and three Naruto collection fics. Getting more into Bleach through either HP or Naruto, I thought I should make a Bleach collection fic to add incase I get any Bleach-y ideas or randomness popping into my head. I hope to have new folks flocking to this, and in term, my other stories that need desperate life shocked back into their plotlines again. If you got any requests for something like short ideas, just tell me in a PM or in your review.

* * *

**The Plot Bunny of Crimson Sagittarius**

If it wasn't for the hidden magical world that is fully known by Europe's version of Soul Society (Avalon), Hayato Ishida would never bother coming to Europe. However the enemy of the Seireitei, Sōsuke Aizen, discovered something that forced Avalon to seek help from international realms. And he's being drawn into the whole business. Hayato scowled slightly. This was the world he refused to join at age eleven, refused to become a brainwashed sheep of the masses of a backwards society, refused to return to a place where the man and woman who created him abandoned him to a short life of abuse before being rescued by his father Ryūken.

The young man through his brother Uryū got involved with the events of the Shinigami of Japan's afterlife. Even though he was adopted, he showed the abilities of being a powerful Quincy even without having the actual blood (and that made the sick bastard Mayuri want to discover why someone like him could have Quincy powers without having Quincy blood). Of course, he didn't fully depend on his Quincy powers; he practiced various forms of swordsmanship (or as the Shinigami called it Zanjutsu) to not be restricted to "one art".

Not to mention unlike most Quincy, his Quincy abilities break through darkness and evil, and purifies a trapped soul that then gets sent off to either heaven or hell (depending on the weight of any sin attached to the soul). Aside his love for creation through artwork, he was also one of brilliance just like Uryū. Oh, he can recall the meeting he had that involved a few Captains of Avalon's heaven, and how close they came to colliding in a fight with the Captains of the Seireitei. That is until he quite frankly put the arrow down to stop the squabbling.

_FLASHBACK TIME!_

Sekai Ishtal, Council Commander of Avalon's version of the Gotei 13 (they called themselves the Council Guardian Corporation), was in equal terms the same rank as the Captain Commander, Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto. If there was one thing that Avalon did not like of the Seireitei, was when they led a crusade in the bloody slaying of the Quincy. The Quincy were living souls, alive, and when Avalon caught word of the Seireitei murdering all Quincy-empowered humans they nearly went to war with the Japanese afterlife. However to not destroy the balances of life and death they simply took the souls not yet killed and hid them away, but missed a large group who vanished into the darkness.

These Quincy will soon bring about the Thousand-Year Blood War, but that isn't until a long time from now. Any surviving Quincy left in the human world was Hayato (through unknown means), Uryū, and Ryūken. That is, until Hayato met a young lady who called herself Felicity, a Guardian in her own right of Avalon. Her mere appearance brought a cacography of noise in the halls.

Only when Hayato shot off a single arrow that embedded itself in the wall next to Yamamoto's head did all swords get drawn, but silence was brought out.

"Why must I go to Europe? Why must I go to the Wizarding World? Go to a place I refuse to return to? Surely if you are knowledgeable of such an unstable realm, you must know of how disgusted I am of that world."

"I know that, Hayato," said Sekai, "However even without the blood of the Quincy; your magical prowess allows you to utilize their energy sources in combination to your uniqueness of Zanjutsu techniques and your spiritually-inherited Quincy abilities."

"There is a man and woman in that world that created me, and then abandoned me like trash. I really don't know if I can keep myself from slaying their souls if I ever meet them again," Hayato warned.

Sekai walks to the distraught young man, and places a hand on his shoulder.

"You are strong. You were swallowed by darkness, but survived it. It will not drag you back into its maw again."

He stared at the older spiritually-youthful teen, looking into those sharp gems of violet.

"What is it that would attract Aizen's attention? What is there in this world of magic that would have him send Arrancar into your side of the world?"

"The King of Avalon, Merlin, left behind three artifacts as a test disguising himself as Death in all form. But now they have been perverted. Even after many centuries we cannot locate them because they cannot be found by any means except Merlin's own. And Merlin himself sealed all knowledge of the three artifacts of Death in regards to seeking them out directly. If Aizen gathers all three... not even the Soul King of the Seireitei, or the Guardians of the Underworld can stop him from reshaping both the living and the dead."

"How bad?" Hitsugaya questioned aloud.

"Apocalyptic proportions," was the damning answer. "But the artifacts while powerful can also be destroyed if found. However, Merlin himself left behind a prophecy that will aid in the destruction of the artifacts he created. Eyes of emerald branded by lightning, yielding spirits of graceful union, keyed by life and death itself, shall he shatter the powers the creators of magic, destined to eliminate the evil force of a shattered soul."

As he said this, his eyes did not waver from Hayato's face.

"Even if you refuse, sooner or later, those from our world's living continent will seek you out. And the golden rule of the afterlife is the living cannot know that life exists after death... not until it is their time to pass on from their mortal bodies and be recycled into the Lifestream that Earth is enrich with. It is better for you to go to them than for them to come to you..."

"But be warned young Hayato," spike Felicity, "even a mind as sharp as yours can be deceived unless you do not allow them to. A fortified mind is a strong mind, and a brave soul is a strong soul."

"I am not going alone, am I?"

That wasn't an inquiring question, and Sekai knew it. The young man looks up and stares at the oldest man in the room, Yamamoto.

Yamamoto merely stares back at Sekai.

Hayato knew that Ryūken and his brother Uryū will raise a complaint about this once he informs his friends of what's going on...

_END FLASHBACK_

Hayato scowled, but kept quiet as he walks the streets of London followed by the Captain of the Nibantai, Suì-Fēng, and a Guardian from Avalon, Felicity Reznov. Yeah, a young man in the company of two exceedingly beautiful young women would have heads turning. Heads also turn at three people who looked definitely foreign, or so their clothes would lead you to believe. Hayato wore a variation of the Quincy combat clothing that Ryūken once worn at his age, but altered in design to fit today's modern society regarding clothing and fashion. He did look dashing with that old Sherlock Holmes-styled cape draped across his shoulders.

Suì-Fēng in her Gigai wore a Chinese variation of her normal outfit worn in the Seireitei. He personally had a craft in making the clothes, and also made it modest enough so that Suì-Fēng would have that exotic foreigner look and still look very alluring. It was something that she admitted looked nice once gazing herself in a full body mirror. Felicity on the other hand in her Body Double (the Gigai of Avalon's creation) wore blue jeans, old military boots, and a combat-fatigue jacket that was of World War II-era. Then again, as a relative of the mysterious Viktor Reznov and the Reznov family lineage, Felicity was as much a warrior as she is a singer and dancer.

So a Russian chick, a Japanese chick, and a Japanese-raised British guy walk into a bar...

Okay, I'll stop.

"Hayato, you shouldn't scowl too much," Felicity tells the teen.

"I rather not have anything to do with the magic idiots you Avalonians deal with on a daily basis, Felicity. I rather prepare to protect my friends and family from that bastard Aizen and whatever army of evil he's concocting."

Felicity flashed an amused smile. Avalonians... that was humorous to hear. Still, they have a mission to deal with. The unique energy signature of the Merlin Artifact will register as a complete unknown. And when they discover that, then they'll find what they seek to destroy. With their destruction, Aizen will have a source of power cut-off from him. Bad enough he's using the energy of this Hōgyoku to create his Arrancar Army with plans of acquiring the means of accessing the Soul King's realm, but if coupled with the artifacts of Merlin, Aizen would become more than simply achieving godhood...

"So where do we go first, Felicity?"

"Well the British magicals have a pub that they actively keep hidden from what they call the mundane. Of course spiritually-aware or awakened humans can see past their hidden areas leading to their world. For the three of us, it's like walking through a curtain of water and not getting wet."

"What does Avalon have regarding these magic users, Felicity?"

"Lately the one with the broken soul has returned to a constructed body, a homunculus. Since then those who wear skull-shaped masks attack and kill many innocent souls. The deaths of many are also slowly attracting Hollows back to the area. About four years ago the deaths became so overwhelming that the Pure Courts of Avalon and Merlin's Judges have declared that anyone with the affiliation of Death Eater is considered dangerous with a termination order. If the Death Eaters actively enjoy killing the weak and innocent, then their souls are blackened with enough sin to be dragged to hell when death arrives."

"But the Hollows attracted to many slain souls prevent any of you from actively slaying any of the Death Eaters?"

Felicity simply nodded. Hayato frowned, as did Suì-Fēng.

"If any soul is lucky to get sent to heaven, the rest get absorbed by the killer's wands. They use a unique spell called the Killing Curse. It does as it means. Even we do not know how such a dangerous spell came into existence, but it has. Couples with two other unique spells of mind control and extreme torture, it's what makes the Death Eaters very dangerous to the living. The bloody slaying of souls is also creating a sheer imbalance within our borders. Some souls go to heaven, while others are absorbed by the wands of what kill them if struck by the Killing Curse. Others attract the loose Hollow and get eaten."

Felicity lifted her wrist up and taps on the surface of her watch she wore. A small holographic screen appears over its crystalline surface.

"What also makes them dangerous is a breed of Demi-Hollows that seem to multiply with each soul they are fed. The magicals also have a control over them. No matter what we do to kill off the population and destroy the magicals' way of control over these Demi-Holows, more just appear out of nothing. The name the Demis are affixed with are called Dementors."

Suì-Fēng stared at the image of what was called a Dementor.

"Disgusting creature..."

"I agree," Hayato says.

"The thing is that these Demi-Hollows are on par with that of a Gillian. If a Hollow is lucky to devour even one, then the unknown quantity of souls within the Demi-Hollow is a huge boost of power, causing the Hollow to evolve into the Vasto-Lorde stage. But since the existence of the Dementors and Avalon itself, we rarely have to fight a Hollow that has eaten a Dementor."

"Are they THAT dangerous?"

"Like a flip of a coin," she explained, "Dementors uniqueness is that they also feed off emotions of human beings, leaving behind nothing but despair. It's what they use to paralyze a target before moving in to devour the target's soul through a sucking kiss..."

"And killing the lot of them does nothing to permanently end their existence?" Suì-Fēng questions Felicity.

"We tried everything. We even once tried to sent them into Hell itself but they emerge like demons. And those idiot wizards have no idea of the true horrors they have in their flimsy control. I doubt its but pure luck they even can control such vile creatures. No doubt if they ever escaped their control, souls left and right will get devoured. And such dark emotions left behind will attract Hollows of all evolutions. Practical chaos..."

Hayato closed his eyes.

"Then it was a good thing I refused their invitation to their society."

"While the Wizarding World was once a wondrous place, it had fallen from the times that Merlin created. Sometimes I even hear rumors that the planet is better safe with the elimination of all wizard kind. While humans can reach to the billions, about a handful of those numbers can be separated with the magical gene, as we call it. Of course the rest of humanity would probably never hear about the genocide of magical humans as they enjoy living in such an isolated state, clinging to their old prides and ways that they are ignorant of the evolving world outside their realm. It's almost a sad and sorry way to live..."

A bus drives past and they wait for traffic to calm before crossing the street.

"However what many wish for, we rather not fall down to dark times. One day wizard kind will slowly die out what with the reports we get now and then from Research and Investigation of the group who call themselves Purebloods practically inbreeding within families."

"Incest? Sick..."

"Yeah. The Purebloods believe of keeping their blood pure by marrying within family or other families that are as inbred as the next family. Muggleborns are humans who are gifted with the gene of magical creation. Half-bloods are like you Hayato, with the parent of a mundane-born human and one from the Pureblood side."

Hayato grimaced at the thought of the man, the husband of the woman whom abandoned him as an infant, living to the standards of these disgusting "purebloods". A social taboo in humanity and yet the magicals who call themselves Pureblood practically swimming in it...

"No worries Hayato. Your birth parents never believed in such. With the Purebloods, there are two sides; those who we know are heavy with sin, and those who fight against the sin-heavy souls but are as inept and lazy to accept the world outside their bubbles of isolation. Like I said, their world is a fallen sorry state rotting in corruption and sin. And one day they'll simply breed the magic gene out of existence. Probably wouldn't last a few more generations with the direction their world is heading into. And all us Avalonians can do is continue our duties of protecting the souls from Hollows and keep the balance of life and death in check."

Throughout this interesting conversation, they had avoided walking into people, their discussions were largely ignored thanks to a special spell Felicity used to make it sound like they were tourists talking about random things, avoided traffic in the form of cars, trucks, busses and the like, until they finally reached their destination: The Leaky Cauldron.

"I really don't want to be here."

Felicity grabs Hayato's arm, and Suì-Fēng grabs the other.

"Too bad, Yato."

The teen sighs.

"Fine, fine... the sooner we discover anything pertaining to the artifacts, or the locations of those soul fragments you Avalonians are tasked to destroying, the sooner we can leave."

Felicity smiles to the teen. "Those soul frags are high priority for us Avalon, but preventing Aizen from acquiring Merlin's Artifacts supersedes that."

The three enter the pub... and into chaos.

The bar was filled with scared patrons as the sounds of battle are heard in a hallway where a wall was parted revealing a street filled with wizards and witches running from mask-wearing attackers. Felicity scowled.

"Damn... Death Eaters."

"Those are Death Eaters?" Hayato asks.

"Yes, the very same ones that are causing the Hollow population in England to rise."

Hayato frowned.

"What do we do?" Suì-Fēng inquired.

"Take them out. As a Guardian I'll take responsibility for the Soul Protects turning off. To them they'll believe to be wandless magic. Hayato, snipe them down and Suì-Fēng, rescue anyone injured with your Shunpo. They are murderers, killers of human souls with their green death magic. Do NOT let them live. Avalon already has Death Eaters marked for hell upon death."

The two react to the order, Hayato forming his Catholic-styled Cross Bow, and already releasing a multitude of reshi arrows upon the mask-wearing murderers. The Death Eaters had no idea what hit them, and the Aurors down the cobblestone street watch a group of Death Eaters get slain by glowing "magic arrows". Felicity rushed in on a bulky fat-looking Death Eater who stood over a helpless-looking young woman with honey brown hair, and slams her gloved fist into the man's sternum. The sound of it breaking indicated he was hurt bad. She flips herself over his shoulder, grapples his neck and puts her weight into a defying twist.

CRACK!

Goyle Sr. had his neck broken. The young teenager stared in shock, as Felicity stands up with a flip to her feet. Two more Death Eaters had seen this and had already drawn their wands, boxing her in with quick Disapparating.

"Avada-"

The Death Eater who was distinctively female in voice was cut-off by Felicity drawing her Soul Cutter (or as the Japanese calls it a Zanpakutō) and her hand still clutching the wand hits the ground. Another unseen slice and her arm follows. A third unseen cut and the man behind her got his throat wide open and spraying blood.

The woman was howling in pain as she's kicked to the ground and her mask cleaved off, also marring her face. Felicity recognized the woman's face with the mask destroyed.

"Well, well, well... Bellatrix Lestrange."

"You filthy mudblood! You'll pay for this!" she all but screeched hysterically.

"Sorry, but your master will meet death soon. You're going before him."

She slams her Soul Cutter into her chest piercing the heart. The evil mad woman, the murderer of Frank Longbottom, was dead. The souls of the Death Eaters can be seen by the two Soul Reapers and Quincy, but the other magicals watch as a giant gate emerged from thin-air guarded by skeleton bodies and two large hands that open the black gates. She watches as the hand of a Hell Denizen grabbed Bellatrix's blackened soul and dragged it into its fiery depths, before more grab the other souls of the recently deceased Death Eaters and drag them straight to hell.

CRACK!

The cracks of Apparating are heard and Felicity now spies an old man with a group of magicals, and they much like the shocked audience watch the Gates of Hell close up and vanish. Her watch goes off, alerting her to a foreign energy being detected.

Suì-Fēng and Hayato reappear in bursts of speed by Felicity.

"Did you feel that?"

"Yeah... my watch detected a foreign energy. And I now believe we found our first artifact of Merlin," Felicity stated, ignoring the shocked look from the teenager she saved from being raped by Goyle Sr.

The surviving Death Eaters not yet taken out by Hayato vanished, using Portkeys to escape the Aurors led by James Potter and Dumbledore and his Order of the Phoenix.

"Now what?"

"Take the artifact and flee. I'll make sure the Memory Squad deletes anything pertaining to the Hell Gates dragging souls off to burn."

Hayato vanishes and reappears, surprising Dumbledore and the Order. In that moment, he hears a gasp and looks to the source. A woman with vibrant red hair (not unlike Orihime's whose was more an orange red) and eyes as green as his, stares.

"Harry?"

Hayato scowled.

It was his birth mother that he declared dead to him when he was adopted by the Ishidas.

Hayato however did not let this distract him and with the agility instilled into him thanks to Yoruichi, he not only stole the artifact (a black wand) from the old man's hand, he also launched said old man into the group of wand wavers wearing red cloaks and a man who looked almost like him aside messy hair, larger framed glasses, and brown eyes.

The man with a large swirling electric blue eye fires off magic spells but Hayato formed his cross and then banishes it. It was a unique technique he created that turns his Cross Bow into an energy shield to block minor to medium-ranged attacks. The Cross Shield held-up on the spells as Hayato returned to Suì-Fēng and Felicity.

"Got the artifact," Hayato exclaimed, lifting the wand up. A fountain of sparks shoots from the tp.

"Let's retreat for now."

A spell breaks his Cross Shield and one lucky spell strikes Suì-Fēng in the chest. Hayato catches her in the nick of time as he forms another bow and fires off a multitude of reshi arrows. It wasn't to harm them, but more or less deter them and force them to back off. Throwing down a smoke bomb that quickly clouded the small wizarding street, Hayato follows Felicity in Shunpo to escape under the smoke cover.

=0=0=

The spell that caught Suì-Fēng by luck alone didn't keep her out of action for long. Considering she was in a Gigai, the Stupefy spell didn't keep her knocked out for even five minutes. Five minutes and she's already up and walking, annoyed one of the wand wavers caught a lucky hit on her with a spell that was said by Felicity a means of incapacitating enemies non-lethally. Hayato and Suì-Fēng look to Felicity who closes a cell phone she had on her person.

Soul Pagers are wonderful things, are they not?

"Memory Squads took care of altering the memories. No one now remembers seeing the gates of hell appear and disappear. Still I got a report that the old man apparently knows he's missing the Death Stick so we have to meet up with an associate of mine to have this taken to Avalon and out of the hands of the humans in general. We're moving from this place in five minutes."

She sits down and finishes the pizza they ordered. Suì-Fēng didn't like meat but Felicity got her a Garden Lover's pizza.

"So after seventeen years I finally met my so-called mother who is all but dead to me," Hayato speaks out.

Suì-Fēng and Felicity look to Hayato, who was staring out the window of a safe house Avalon has in the human world.

"I wanted to kill her there and now. I wanted to kill her and erase her soul with my reshi arrows but I restrained on such emotions and focused on stealing that old man's stick. I still question though how that woman dares call herself a mother if she abandoned me like I was trash... her and her worthless husband..."

The two ladies had nothing to say. The air in the room was thick with tension as Hayato calmly finished his slice of pizza before grabbing another and eating silently. Suì-Fēng though felt she could relate to Hayato's conflicting emotions, thinking back to that day she herself went through similar feelings such as abandonment...

Elsewhere Dumbledore knew something was wrong and looked to some old memories of the day before the Order went to help curb back the Death Eaters attacking Diagon Alley. He knew somehow between this blank in a few minutes of his memory, his wand was stolen. Something was important. He can remember arriving to the scene of the attack and see the bodies of killed Death Eaters, men and women who could prove they deserved a second chance of given one... and he can remember clearly the face of a young man who looked like a carbon copy of James but with Lily's eyes. But something was missing out of this scene of memories. Of course, that and he was now focused on a face he thought he'd never see again...

Harry Potter had returned to the Wizarding World after refusing going to Hogwarts, being the first in fifty years to not accept the Hogwarts invite. Only now the boy was a man, who never knew his parents, who in that letter Minerva read to the faculty during the meeting of new students a week before September 1st stated how he declared the Potters all but dead for their deeds of child abandonment. Of course Harry would live with Petunia but when he turned eleven he would be reunited with his family and gets to know his brother Connor. But somehow all that happened, and the slow guilt that welled in his heart, was that Harry disowned himself through that letter, damning a family and shattering what peace they lived in for those first eleven years since Voldemort's temporary defeat by the Boy-Who-Lived...

... The REAL Boy-Who-Lived, as Voldemort personally told Connor in 1994, Harry James Potter. Or Hayato Ishida the boy- no, man, now declared himself with his new family via adoption. Through his contacts he learned the family was muggle, and living in Japan, a country out of his jurisdiction. For seventeen years Dumbledore had to live with the fact he had somehow set things up so that the prophecy was never going to be fulfilled. For eleven years of Harry's life he broke a family that didn't see it coming until that damning letter came. For six years since Harry was rejected from the Hogwarts student list, did Dumbledore know that Voldemort was basically nigh-undefeatable unless his Horcruxes were destroyed; only he who was marked call deal the killing blow, and that was Harry Potter.

Disownment in their world was something unheard of but relatively known and practiced still by surviving first-generation Purebloods, but largely abolished by most wizarding societies even outside Europe. The missing wand... the Wand of Death... That was more important next to somehow getting Harry Potter to return, and help defeat Voldemort. But first... what did Harry know about the fabled Master Wand that got stolen from him (quite painfully, in fact)? With the Potters in their Manor, Lily was sobbing and crying into her husband's arms, as Connor tended to his six year old baby sister. Hearing his mother cry in the same manner he heard seven years ago made his chest constrict with... emotion...

"I saw him James... I saw him and he gave me a disgusted look..."

Connor hears his mother choke out between chest-racking sobs.

He wondered... what would have happened if his fraternal twin brother never left? Would they still be one big happy family? Would his brother love playing pranks and Quiddich? Such questions can never be answered. Such questions Connor would never be able to ask...

"Big brother, why is mummy sad?"

Connor sighed. Little Rose was too innocent to understand. So, he answered the best he could without upsetting his baby sister...

=0=0=

The artifact was transferred and no longer in the World of the Living. At the same time, they discovered a soul frag of the wizard who escaped death in the form of a locket carried by a grizzled-looking shady drunk. It was the same frequency of soul fragments Avalon was hunting down. Hayato simply mugged the man by knocking him clean cold to the ground, taking the locket and escaping with a burst of speed. When the fragment was destroyed by Hayato's weapon an hour later, the sudden burst of spiritual pressure emitted from the wailing fragment chilled them into a cold sweat before the light show ended, and they were left with a shattered snake locket.

Two months have passed and with various reports sent to Avalon and the Seireitei involving the mission, they had discovered the other soul fragments and destroyed them. They also encountered the second artifact during the soul hunt. Destroying the soul fragment also damaged the Resurrection Stone (but not truly destroy it), the second artifact Merlin gifted to the wizards under the disguise of Lord Death as a test. One was in custody, one was damaged but still in their custody, and one was still missing. Hollows still attacked, and once and awhile they came across Aizen's Arrancar that were also seeking for the final artifact upon discovering two was claimed. In these two months Suì-Fēng slowly opened up to Hayato, and Hayato found a shoulder he could lean against, especially in regards to that day in Diagon Alley they claimed the Master Wand and got it out of the human world, and the split-second encounter with his biological mother.

And then we have Voldemort and his army of Death Eaters, along with werewolves, vampires, creatures of the dark itself, and the Demi-Hollows that curried to the evil wizard's gift of allowing them all the souls they can devour if they served him. Voldemort never knew his Horcruxes were being destroyed one by ne until the last one was his snake Nagini meeting a "freak accident" while hunting in the forests for food around Malfoy Manor (Hayato hunted down the snake under Felicity's vision, and took great pleasure killing the snake before it could eat up two small children caught in its grasp at a local town's playground). In a sense, it was a four-way war: Aizen and his cohorts with the Arrancars, Avalon against Voldemort's tyranny and the upsetting of the balance, and the Seireitei preparing to go to war against Aizen teaming up with Avalon. However the event both heavens worried about finally came to a head. But Aizen pulled a blinding move by splitting his forces. Half attacked London to search out the last artifact of Merlin, the rest resumed the attack towards Karakura Town.

This is where we will find half of Avalon's Guardians with the Guardian Commander leading the few Japanese Shinigami in London, while a few of their English numbers aided the Japanese and Yamamoto's group against Aizen. The Arrancar in particular invading London (a re-created version by Avalon while the real one has its population knocked out, and put to a spell-induced sleep inside Avalon's pocket dimension) was led by the Segunda Espada Baraggan Louisenbairn. With him were his Fracción, the Primera Espada Coyote Starrk and Lilynette Gingerbuck. Fighting two different ides of Aizen's White Invasion was tough. However both sides of Avalon and Seireitei slowly worked through the battles.

During the scuffles, Wonderweiss appeared in London under Aizen's command along with his Hollow pet, leading to half of the Visored (whom agreed to split-up after learning of the two-staged attacks) to appear and combat the London invaders, while Shinji led the others against the Karakura invaders and Aizen himself once freed from Yamamoto's fire prison. While Sekai combated Wonderweiss, and the other Shinigami and Soul Reapers dealt with the hollow invasion, key Shinigami groups were attacking the Espadas. Case in point as we now turn to the battle against Baraggan.

"Omaeda you fat fuck!" Hayato all but shouted.

To give Suì-Fēng the time she needed to channel whatever she planned on doing, Omaeda was acting as the distraction and him sniping whenever he could. But Hayato got struck by a stray attack by Omaeda's Shikai and sent crashing through the Leaky Cauldron. As Hayato got up from the crater he made in the furniture, he made a horrifying discovery upon hearing voices: wizards and witches still remained.

_What the hell! But Avalon took care of this... unless their magical powers kept the real portions of their hidden shopping alley rooted to this dimension... damn! Sekai needs to know about this!_

Nearby a group of redheads were with the Potters and Hayato could hear Omaeda being a crybaby and running for dear life from Baraggan's rotting powers.

"Suì-Fēng, why do you have that man as your lieutenant, I will never know," he mutters to himself.

He leaves, but not without using a shielding spell to cover the escape routes. The living magical souls cannot know about the barrier that shields the fake London from being discovered by the rest of the planet.

Leaving Omaeda t his task he runs as fast as he can, and finds Sekai dealing the death blow against Wonderweiss who had gone into Resurrección mode.

"Sekai! Bad news!"

Sekai, injured, was still standing and with the large broadsword he called Banryu.

"What is it?"

"Apparently not ALL of London went into that pocket dimension Avalon created to protect the humans. The wizard's Diagon Alley is still here, but behind the barrier! But I got sent through the Leaky Cauldron!"

Sekai swore up a nasty storm of cursing. Avalon knew how temperamental magic was but to be this unpredictable... this was just plain insane. If Diagon Alley still remained, that meant the hidden world's hidden government had to also remain rooted in its place, wherever that was.

Up in the air Ceros from Starrk in Resurrección form flew but the Visored attacking him kept ahead of the blasts, and Omaeda was still running like a coward. All around Hollows were being destroyed that were released from the Hooleer creature upon its death.

"How worse can this get?" Sekai tempted fate.

Pop!

Voldemort and an army of Death Eaters, dark creatures, and the army of Demi-Hollows appeared in the palace square, where Ukitake and Kyōraku were being healed by Avalon's Medical Squads along with the other injured Soul Reapers.

For now, this temporarily halted the battle from both sides over London.

Baraggan gazes away from the coward Omaeda and stares at the appearance of sudden despair flooding the air like a chilling cold. A cold he was unaffected by.

"New reinforcements or outsiders stumbling upon a sudden death sentence...?" The Segunda Espada questions aloud.

Toying with the idea of seeking out the Captain of the Nibantai, he instead decides to investigate the new arrivals. His sudden appearance of Sonido frightened the newcomers, and put the Soul Reapers/Shinigami on edge. The man with the pasty white skin, bald cranium, and missing a nose hisses like a snake cornered by a predator. Baraggan took note of the black stick held in the pale one's long spider-like fingers.

"And just who the hell are you?" Baraggan questions coldly with a bone-rattling breath. "And how is it that you have creatures that feel like Demi-Hollows under your reign?"

"What manner of magic is this?" The pale-skinned freak hissed out.

"Magic? I see... you are the ones Aizen said were called wizards. I understand now. You came to destroy London, correct?"

The Demi-Hollows were getting very antsy, the vampires were frightened and resisting the dangerous urge to run away and the werewolves bristled, trying to look more intimidating. Suddenly a heavy force of spiritual pressure weighs them all down, forcing the Shinigami to escape with the injured. Baraggan would smile if he had the ability to do so. Instead, as the mockery of Death in skeletal form, he lifts a bony hand up.

"Magical or not, you have entered a battlefield you humans can never understand nor will. Now rot away!"

Voldemort escaped along with a few other Death Eaters. The Dementors flew away but may get caught by the cloud of black smoke released by Baraggan. The Dementors rotted away, and died. The vampires and werewolves smothered by the clouds turned into rotting bones, and died. The screams of abject horror by the unlucky Death Eaters are silenced as they too rot into death's embrace.

Voldemort was horrified such a large number of his force was... erased... in such a manner. Suddenly a voice shouts at the top of her lungs.

"BANKAI!"

Suì-Fēng unleashed her Bankai, and reappears with her now enlarged weapon, now a missile launcher. In a sprint of his Hirenkyaku, Hayato appears next to Suì-Fēng soon followed by Omaeda in his semi-impressive movement of Shunpo. Hayato did Suì-Fēng the favor by kicking the large man in the balls.

"So, this is your Bankai?"

"Yes... however I don't like it because it is too damn flashy, and it restricts my movement," she explains, while leveling for the kill. "But at the moment... this freak needs to die."

And she fires the weapon, creating a giant explosion that destroyed several buildings near the vicinity of the blast, threw the remaining army of Death Eaters and the Dark Lord like leaves in the wind, and Hayato to grab hold of Suì-Fēng as he anchored them to the ground with spiked weights nailed to the ground. And Omaeda... well he's tumbling away like tumbleweed. The surviving Dementors scream in pain by the fires spread out like waves and flew away from the heat.

Starrk finally had enough stalling and attacks Love and Rōjūrō. They again fight back but one of the stray Cero blasts by Starrk nearly strikes where Voldemort stood in the far distance.

Pop!

The Order of the Phoenix has arrived in retaliation to Voldemort appearing in London, and the group is once again brought into something normal unsuspecting mortals aren't supposed to know. Dumbledore, replacement wand ready, turns upon hearing a loud shriek like a bug and the Order sees a giant-ass cockroach ready to bite the old man. BOOM! The cockroach hollow was destroyed by Hayato's Briete (German word for "Beam").

Then that same Cross Bow was turned and Suì-Fēng watches Hayato target the pale man identified as Voldemort.

"Zerschneiden," Hayato says, before releasing the stored-up energy.

Basically, he said _cut in two_ in German. The large sweeping energy wave-tipped arrow of blue, green, with yellowing edges slice the air and bisect the Dark Lord in a vertical cut, complete with bloody theatrics to paint the air, before gravity draws that spraying blood to paint the ground. Hayato did Avalon's job of killing the Dark Lord and correcting the problem that nearly caused the destruction of Europe's soul balance.

Voldemort never knew what hit him, and the speed of Hayato's firing of his Cross Bow was a speed Uryū would be proud of. Voldemort in his throes of death lamented the fact of the gaze he caught of the man who looked like James Potter. Yes, as he died, he knew it was Harry Potter. But then, those thoughts vanished as the Gates of Hell grabbed the last of his fragmented soul, and the Dark Lord is dragged into hell to be tortured for all eternity.

Sekai (despite his injures decided to help the Visored) pushed Starrk back with a powerful strike of Banryu, and smiled as he saw the gates of hell take what remained of the evil soul into hell to join the rest of the fragmented shards. He then vanishes to evade a Cero blast as Love strikes in from the blind spot. Avalon's prophecy was now half-completed. Now to destroy the last artifact and Avalon can breathe easier knowing the humans can never misuse those "gifts" ever again. But first... they had to take care of this Arrancar problem plaguing fake London.

Before Dumbledore can open his mouth now that the shock has worn off and the remaining dark army now realizing Voldemort has died, a whoosh of wind is felt as the flames are dissolved away and Suì-Fēng and Hayato stare in shock. Baraggan had survived the missile attack.

"Impossible..."

Hayato turned his weapon onto Baraggan, charging energy and ready to defend, as the skeletal Espada chuckles very amusingly.

"Impressive, however as you can see, I have survived your attack Captain of the Nibantai. Hayato, I did witness your execution of the pale-skinned wizard. Brutal, swift, effective... to think one had such a dark soul as shattered as a broken mirror to warrant Hell itself to visit the World of the Living and drag him to be tortured for the rest of time..."

Hayato and Suì-Fēng felt the familiar energy of someone using Shunpo, and in came a large rotund man almost the same size as Omaeda, with a pink mustache and short pink hair.

"I've seen enough."

Baraggan stares at the newcomer.

"And who are you?"

The man continues to stare with that soft smile of his. "I am against Aizen, and an ally to the Shinigami." He claps his hands, forming a meal before channeling that power and traps Baraggan. "I've seen enough. And now, you must die, Baraggan."

Hayato stared at the man.

"Who are you, man?"

The man smiles again.

"Like I said, I am against Aizen. Ask Captain Suì-Fēng who I am."

Hayato gazes to the petite woman, looking for an explanation. Suì-Fēng remained silent though.

"You wizards should get to safe grounds. I have observed from a safe distance everything that happened and have figured a way to permanently eliminate you, and prevent you from using your powers of time to rot away life into extinction."

Baraggan was glaring, but his skeletal head doesn't reflect this emotional manner. Two major battles were coming to a close now.

Hachigen stares as Baraggan lifted a hand up.

"Do not try. You cannot escape."

But Baraggan easily shatters the green plus barrier, as the energy of the Kidō spell is dissolving away by the acidic grayish black smoke.

"Fool. You Shinigami always think the same. Never understanding the truth. I have the power of Time. My power of Time is to rot away life. Humans, plants, animals, everything I touch will rot away until nothing is left. Even you Shinigami and you as well, Quincy, can and will die when I touch you with my smog. You all shall rot away." Baraggan laughs softly.

He demonstrated this fact by swiftly killing the survivors of Voldemort's tyranny while the Order of the Phoenix got away in time thanks to Fawkes appearing in the nick of time. This was ignored by Suì-Fēng and Hayato, whom were focused on mounting a defense against the Segunda Espada.

"Now... I want you all to die!"

Hachigen was prepared for this and performs various Kidō spells combined with enchantments, forming another powerful imprisonment. Hayato and Suì-Fēng eventually double-team to eliminate Baraggan following Hachigen's orders. The Order got a personal sight as magic (to them they believed it was powerful and unknown arcane magic) imprisoned the creature that made the Death Eaters, werewolves, vampires, and even the Dementors rot away into dust and brittle bones. The first attack, Suì-Fēng used her Bankai attack to again strike at Baraggan.

With the barrier in place there was no place for the rotting Espada to mount the defense he used to survive the first attack. This destroys the barrier eventually revealing Baraggan's survival, but he was now severely injured. As Kyōraku led the killing blow on Starrk across London, by the Queen's Palace (or what remains of its fake ruins), Baraggan is attacked this time by Hayato. This time, he doesn't survive the attack and rots away into death.

Aizen's Invasion of London had failed and halfway across the globe, in Karakura Town, the last of the battles are finished with Aizen slaying Tier himself before escaping with Ichigo following after the evil man.

"Everything is finished here. All Hollows destroyed for now, and Aizen's army in London has been eliminated."

Sekai grins. "Good. Prepare for retreat back into Avalon and then immediate transport to Karakura Town's battle site. We'll assist the Seireitei in taking down Aizen."

Several Soul Reapers salute the commander and rush off to perform their tasks.

Sekai is joined by Kyōraku and Ukitake.

"Well, we're all finished here. Although I'll have to buy a new hat..."

Sekai chuckled. Kyōraku was an interesting captain to know.

"First off I'll have to make sure the magicals that stumbled upon us cannot have any knowledge of this shit. And we'll also have to be very thorough of the clean-up before returning London back into its place and disable the time stasis keeping the real city frozen."

Ukitake chuckled.

"Paperwork is a pain otherwise?" he jokes.

Sekai smiles back.

At least somebody understood the pains of paperwork.

With Dumbledore and the Order, Hayato was staring them down, ignoring the antics of Omaeda having regained consciousness after getting temporarily knocked out and hopping on one foot after getting it struck by Suì-Fēng.

"I will like to have my wand back you took from me, Harry."

Hayato glared at the mention of the name he discarded. "It's Hayato Ishida, old man, and no it is in a place you can never get to."

"Then tell me how you used that powerful magic to... to eliminate the Dark Lord Voldemort?"

Hayato continued to glare at Dumbledore.

"It's a power you'll never understand. And unfortunately for you group. Everything you have witnessed will be erased, and this time no one will recall. I believe that for all you'll now know..."

He felt Sekai appear behind him and Suì-Fēng.

"... Someone stopped living in fear and killed the Dark Lord just to stop the killing of innocent souls."

Sekai used his spiritual pressure to knock the wind out of the group of humans briefly before knocking them out. They will wake up the next day with no recollection of what happened in London. As far as the people of London knew, it was just another day of waking up, doing stuff, then going to bed. This time, Soul Reapers discovered Dumbledore's stone basin containing memories that belonged to the old man. Dumbledore will bemoan the mysterious destruction of his Pensive. Nothing is never perfect and they will soon discover Voldemort was dead; like Hayato stated they would spend the next few months figuring out who was it that killed the Dark Lord, and why the prophecy by Trelawney was never fully fulfilled via the "right requirements".

You want to know the outcome of this odd oneshot of someone else's plotline and story? Hayato and Suì-Fēng are boyfriend and girlfriend, and Suì-Fēng gets teased about this by Yoruichi. Oh yes, Aizen was sealed away after being defeated by Ichigo, and Soul Society was saved from destruction, along with Karakura Town. A year later Avalon discovered the Potter Family had the third artifact of Merlin, and stole it back. The three artifacts were destroyed once brought together by Hayato's power. The Potters themselves once again tried to find Hayato but the young man never wanted to see them again; he had a family and his own life. He grew up perfectly without them, and he can continue to live without their existence in his life.

Then the Vandenreich emerged from the depths of Hueco Mundo and led a blood siege upon Soul Society and the Seireitei. Of course, that is another story that can be spoken about by someone else. Thus comes to an end this writer's plot bunny that grew out of control...

Damn plot bunnies...

* * *

**This came as a brain flash and it involved Suì-Fēng. I'm weird but I just can't help but ship Harry with the ever-serious Suì-Fēng** (the ninja girl with the lesbian crush on Yoruichi)**. This flash storm of a unique oneshot has NO official connection to **Eirenei**'s story, but certainly could have the tag of what-if. Of course I'd urge HP/Bleach fans to check out **Eirenei**'s story because it is well-written. I can't wait to see how **Eirenei **fully writes out the story's official plot. Again, this is just a oneshot and alternative to **Crimson Sagittarius**, and has no full relation to the original story, but is based off the current chapters starting from the beginning to what I peg the Hogwarts Rejection arc. It just wouldn't leave my mind and you know how dangerous a plot bunny can get...** D:


	5. Viktor Reznov

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. I should also make note that in this crossover-styled chapter, I do not own anything relating to the awesomeness that is Call of Duty. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** I have three Harry Potter collection fics, one Vocaloid collection fic, and three Naruto collection fics. Getting more into Bleach through either HP or Naruto, I thought I should make a Bleach collection fic to add incase I get any Bleach-y ideas or randomness popping into my head. I hope to have new folks flocking to this, and in term, my other stories that need desperate life shocked back into their plotlines again. If you got any requests for something like short ideas, just tell me in a PM or in your review.

This is more Call of Duty than Bleach, but I couldn't help but imagine Viktor Reznov as a Russian Soul Reaper (only armed with a gun instead of a sword). This flash storm created this. Has spoilers for Black Ops II for those who never played it yet.

* * *

**Viktor Reznov**

_It was said that everything that Alex Mason did with one Viktor Reznov was said to be hallucinations. That Reznov had died at Vorkuta, and that everything Mason did teaming up with Reznov on certain "missions" was in-fact all him. Truthfully however, you'd be wrong. It's just that Soul Society outside Japan had varying rules and regulations. But Reznov never cared much for them when it came to helping his brother-in-arms, Alex Mason. As a Russian Death God, he didn't carry soul cutters like the Japanese. No, he carried his favorite gun from when he was still among the living, during World War II. Ironically, the weapon WAS his soul cutter. But Reznov had to save Mason once more. He had watched the battle between the Russians and the small group before said group betrayed Mason and his comrades, and left them to die in the desert. But let me switch over here to Reznov; here's his account of what happened on that day..._

I arrived to see the black monsters that were hungry for the recently killed Russians that led an assault in this area of Afghanistan. The Japanese called them Hollows. We on the other hand call them Dusha Pozhirateli, or in the English language, Soul Eaters. A fitting name for these monsters of black with bone-white masks that crave for the energy that is the human life... We certainly had a strong grouping of Dusha Pozhirateli, and some of the souls we were too late in eliminating. Just like during my time alive in the army fighting against Nazi Germany in the war, I led my men and women, my comrades, against the fight on the Dusha Pozhirateli. The desert hosted a small bloody fight between the living souls, and now here we are waging an endless war as the dead...

I was still a great marksmen alive, and after the years since my death, I and my reunited brother-in-arms, Dimitri Petrenko, had killed the last of the Dusha Pozhirateli and sent the more evil-laden souls to hell after performing the burial rituals of them. That is when Dimitri taps me on the shoulder and points to a truck driving out into the barren desert away from these canyons and mountains. I was surprised to see my best friend, Alex Mason; bloodied alongside the men he called Woods and Hudson, and the Chinese man.

"You're going to help the American again, Reznov?" I heard Dimitri question what I had planned on doing.

"Of course, however I planned to ask you in helping me track down Mason."

"You know Big Boss will not like this."

I laugh at that. Of course Big Boss didn't like that I always tend to break those boundaries of life and death's veil. But, I was always myself. Being a war veteran can bring changes, especially when you have not only embraced death but discover it's nothing but another adventure.

"Come Dimitri. We can use the Lozhnyye Tela and trail after."

"We'll need clothes to disguise ourselves as desert nomads."

Good ol' Dimitri. Always thinking ahead...

We don't really pay attention to the Living World unless souls die on their time or through unfortunate times. If I had however been just like that man I heard in Japan getting into trouble with his own government, I would have stayed to help. But at that time in 1986, I didn't know about the future war that would break out in 2025 started by Raul Menendez and Cordis Die.

I did however ride into the sandstorm after trailing the men who betrayed Mason and his friends, and waited until we were certain the living didn't see us that we arrive. Again, while I remained the same age after I met my end at Vorkuta and Mason escaped on that train, Mason himself looked older. But I will tell you: I did not go down with a whimper, but with a bloody bang.

"Reznov..."

It felt good to hear him again after the few years since destroying the Numbers Tower, and witnessing him kill Dragovich. But I said nothing and gave him water from the full flask Dimitri and I found on the two bodies of the desert men him and me grave-robbed. You really do have to enjoy The Flasher. No, it's not THAT! It's like a thick Sharpe marker but with a hidden compartment that revealed a LED bulb that can erase and re-write memories of the living souls. Different than the memory device the Japanese use but still gets the job done.

As I tended to Mason and Dimitri helped Woods and Hudson, three more desert nomads we encountered that weren't with the betrayers of Mason and company arrive with help. And just like that, I told Mason not to worry and rest. He listened. Once Dimitri and I were sure he was safe we left after altering some memories and kept an eye on Mason and the group before ultimately departing back to Russia's Afterlife City. Personally, I think it needs a new name.

I did find it funny when I checked on Mason's kid when he was an adult and in the American military, and heard a now elderly Woods call me Tricky Vic retelling that day in Afghanistan. Of course, that was then. Today... I'm stuck with that Japanese Soul Reaper named Kisuke Urahara. Strange eccentric man, rather quirky in my opinion. They recently repelled another warring battle with the remnants of the Quincy group Vandenreich under a new regime of power, but now the new Vandenreich group had invaded the Motherland's heaven and now we were working side-by-side with the Japanese Soul Society.

"Hey Reznov, we need your eyes for a mission."

Well, I have a job to do.

I only wish that Mason could become a comrade here. I think he'd certainly love to kill Dragovich a second time; the snake bastard surviving hell's grasp and working for the enemy. But I'll have to wait for when Alex kicks the bucket through old age. I think he'd be certainly surprised about what the afterlife has in store...


	6. So Joker and a Hollow walk into a Pub

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** I have three Harry Potter collection fics, one Vocaloid collection fic, and three Naruto collection fics. Getting more into Bleach through either HP or Naruto, I thought I should make a Bleach collection fic to add incase I get any Bleach-y ideas or randomness popping into my head. I hope to have new folks flocking to this, and in term, my other stories that need desperate life shocked back into their plotlines again. If you got any requests for something like short ideas, just tell me in a PM or in your review.

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**************So Joker and a Hollow walk into a Pub**

The bell chimes the alert of a new visitor. Few people gaze up, just to see who the newcomer was, and then felt they should immediately look away and make themselves as unnoticeable as they could physically. After all, seeing a person with chalk white skin, reverse-colored eyes, white hair, and wearing clothes of a Japanese samurai-like warrior with a large meat cleaver somehow strapped to his back was someone you don't want to have paying attention to you. The only person who didn't care was the infamous Clown Prince of Crime, Joker. The white being takes a seat next to Joker and simply points to the only foreign drink in the bar: a large bottle of Sake.

"Well now, that's a pretty sword you got there," drawls Joker with that smooth voice of his, swirling his bourbon vodka mix in his small glass with three cubes of ice.

"And you have a mad smile," Shiro replies, smiling just as madly as the Joker was.

Somewhere in the universe, the strings of fate shattered...


	7. Strawberry Joker

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** Got a request for a one-shot? Drop me a line sometime. This is basically a random drabbling I created on the spot when I saw this art of Ichigo cosplaying Heath Ledger's Joker from _The Dark Knight_ on Gelbooru. It came out better as I acted it out and typed down what I was saying. :P

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**Strawberry Joker**

_"My father… was a Shinigami… and a fiend. And one night, one night he goes a bit craazziier than usual, surprise attacking me with his… his Zanpakutō. Mommy got killed by a Hollow trying to defend herself. He doesn't like this. Not. One. Bit."_

He stares with a hollow look in his eyes, recalling the event.

_"With his Zanpakutō, he pins me to the floor with an angry glare in his eyes. He says, **"Son, why did you let mom die? Why did you not save her life?"** I was a child and defenseless, but he never cared. So, with that Zanpakutō, he leans in real close, and I can smell the sake on his breath. He says to me, **"Why so hollow?"** He lifts the blade, and points the tip, poking my sternum. **"Why don't I put a hole in your soul?"** And he did…"_

He then smiles deviously. _"Then I killed him…"_


	8. Ranbu no Merodi

**The Urahara Shop Computer**

**Disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.

**Author's Note:** Got a request for a one-shot? Drop me a line sometime.

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**Ranbu no Merodi**

_Shizuka ni shizuka ni maku wa kiri otoshi  
Kakusei no yoake ni aoi honoo_

And the rock that blares to life was just one of awesomeness. In a short description: Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki were rock stars and ever since Ichigo's life was changed after getting Soul Reaper powers and Rukia a fugitive of Soul Society for abandoning her post, they have lived together. Keeping a low profile as well as plotting the destruction of a corrupt individual in the afterlife named Sōsuke Aizen, for now they just continued life as if nothing happens...

_Miwatasu kagiri no yami to kattou tesaguri no hibi  
Bokura wa make wo shiranai yowasa wo dakishime aruita_

_Atarashii kiba de jidai wo kizame_

_Shizuka ni shizuka ni maku wa kiri otoshi  
Kakusei no yoake ni aoi honoo  
"Mamoritai anata" ni deaeru sono hi made wa  
Yuushuu no bi yori me no mae no teki wo_

The school was having a fun time with this school festival and Ichigo and company have thought of doing entertainment for everybody, thus the song being played and Ichigo as the vocal of the lyrics, Rukia doing real awesome on a guitar, backups with Uryū, Orihime, Urahara on drums, and Yoruichi as secondary back-up.

_Kokoro nai kotoba hokosaki subete wo nomikomi aruita_

_Tsukareta fushin wa jishin ni neji mage_

_Kurushikute nigetakute ma ga sashita mirai wa  
Yume egaita bokura to tooi tokoro de  
Jikan nante yoso nante kechirashite hohoenda  
Ano koro nani mo kowaku nakattaro?_

The author would like to take this time to state that he does not own the lyrics or the song _Ranbu no Merodi_ by SID. This song just came to me in an odd plot bunny birth. :P

_Shizuka ni shizuka ni maku wa kiri otoshi  
Kakusei no yoake ni aoi honoo  
"Mamoritai anata" ni deaeru sono hi made wa  
Yuushuu no bi yori me no mae no teki wo_

_Itoshikute itoshikute hoka ni wa nani mo nakute  
Koko kara miwatashita keshiki zenbu  
Matomete tsureteitte ageru sa hanasanai de  
Zutto nari yamanu ranbu no merodi_

The entire audience of the school cheers loudly for the awesome rock performance. Ichigo looks to Rukia, who had a huge smile on her face. She was used to living as a human for the past year. The group decides to take a break from the playing as Rukia drags Ichigo off somewhere. Urahara just smiles at the two disappearing into the crowds before putting his hat back on.

"I wonder where Rukia's taking Ichigo," Yoruichi comments out loud, a mischievous smile on her face.

"It's probably not what you may be thinking, kitty cat," Urahara tells the woman.

Yoruichi laughs softly, following the man back to his booth to sell more of his (non Soul Reaper-based items) candies to the ryoka. All of them were unaware of Soul Society having sent cameras into the World of the Living. They had been searching for the missing Rukia Kuchiki for a year until they finally got a lucky break. They had just seen the rock performance at the school, and have seen the missing Rukia hanging out with another of Soul Society's fugitives.

"I never thought these would taste so good," Rukia told Ichigo.

Between them they were sharing a unique food item called Pepperoni Pizza Puffs. And yes, they DO taste as good as it sounds.

Ichigo chuckles in amusement. "Yeah, they are good, huh?"

Rukia just smiles back. "To think... a year ago I was just a complete stranger in your life."

"Until I surprised you when I showed up at Urahara's place..."

Ichigo had been a Soul Reaper longer before meeting Rukia; however he fully did not grasp his powers until finally meeting Rukia. He had known half of what was going on, and this evil man named Aizen who wanted to become a god. A full year of training and the two have gotten close. It helps when Ichigo is not the only one with an Inner Hollow (although today Shiro no longer tries to take control of his host's body; only more interested in Dark Rukia who enjoys playing hard to get).

On the tallest point of the school's lot, Ulquiorra stands there, his spiritual pressure completely masked. He was vigilantly eyeing Ichigo and Rukia, both whom were just staying real close to one another. Or rather, Ichigo had his arms fully wrapped around Rukia who was content with leaning into his embrace.

"So... that must be Ichigo Kurosaki," the Cuatro Espada whispers to himself.

Currently he was not impressed. But he knew looks can be deceiving. His hand shoots out and grabs something invisible before clenching his hand tight. A puff of smoke explodes from his hand as an illusion of sorts vanished, revealing a crushed metal sphere with a camera lens sticking out on one side. In Soul Society, the captains and head captain see nothing but a snowy haze on the large monitor in the meeting hall.

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**If you squint hard, you can see a hint of IchiRuki shipping...**


End file.
